I'm going (slightly) deep. And a lot of stressful.

There is only two weeks of classes left before finals. I have not decided how I feel about that. I don't think I have actually gotten into the swing of things since summer vacation, and now all of a sudden we are almost to Christmas break.

Several things are starting to stress me out. Normally, I am a very calm person. I can just breathe and be ok. Now, however, I'm starting to stress out. I made a list in my math class today of everything I have to get done by Wednesday, and it was a long list. Then I started scheduling times when I could do all those things by Wednesday, and it was crammed. I hate the end of the semester. All of the professors try to cram in last minute projects, and my procrastinating ways are not good for that. I have a fibers piece that I have to knock out in two weeks, and I haven't even started sketching for it yet.

Not only do I have to do all this stuff for classes, my roommates are graduating in a couple of weeks. And leaving me. I do not like this. I will miss these ladies so much. They are who I hang out with at this here place. They are who I laugh with at the stupidest things. They are who I have long, deep discussions with about the jersey numbers of the Quidditch players. I will miss them so much.

I graduate with my undergrad in May. I am both excited and terrified of this. I think I'm ready to go out in the real world and do things. I'm ready to be done with classes. However, I am going to miss college. I love college. I love this college. And I am going to miss being here.

Since I am graduating with my undergrad in May, I will hopefully be starting grad school in August. And I haven't even began to fill out the application for that. I have had no motivation to do it. And I don't know why. I need to do it. That is my goal for Christmas break. And it will get done. It has to get done.

I would by lying if I said I wasn't scared. I have no idea what I'm going to do if I don't even get into grad school. I have no idea what I'm going to do if I don't find a job after grad school. I don't know where I want to teach, I just know I want to. Part of me wants to go back home, because I love the town and my family is all there. But the other part of me wants to branch out, and try something new. Go on a little adventure. I guess we will just see when it gets here.

Breathe Whitney. Just breathe.