Yes.

I'm going to start a list of random, funny things my mother says.
This would be today's entry.

After seeing this picture on my computer background:





"He's gonna split his pants."

The time where I rant and get angry at a fictional character.

Ok, so I'm rereading Eclipse right now. I wanted to read it again before the movie came out, and since I'm going to start reading Harry Potter next week I thought I would squeeze some Eclipse action in this week. I have this one little bone to pick with Bella Swan:

Why the crap is it a big deal to get married to Edward Cullen?!

I know she goes on to say that Charlie and Renee got married and then things got bad and blah blah blah. Here's what I have to say to that...

1. You're not your momma. Just sayin.

2. It's freaking Edward Cullen. Half of the world right now wants to marry Edward Cullen. (The other half is either straight men or Team Jacob. Whatever.)

3. You're going to spend the rest of your life with him anyways. So why not just get in a fancy wedding dress and have a party. You've already decided to be with him forever by making yourself a vampire (which seems a hella lot more intense than exchanging some wedding vows..), so why not just say all that jazz (well, maybe not the vampire part..) in front of your family. Seems pretty simple to me. Plus, this gets Edward off your back and then he will actually turn you. Seems like a win-win..

Anyways, I'm done with that now. Just, quit making a big deal Bella Swan. Freaking A.

Also, both Edward and Jacob are making me mad right now. Don't tell my cousin. She doesn't need to know that Eddie is making me mad. I have a strong Team Edward loyalty to show off. (She's Team Jacob. One of them crazies..)

My mom meets Twilight.

So, my mother has never seen Twilight.
I never made her cause I knew she wouldn't like it.
I guess now that opening sentence should be "my mother HAD never seen Twilight."
Cause, today she watched part of it with me.

Twilight is now playing on Showtime.
And as I was looking for something to watch earlier today, I saw that it was playing.
Obviously I turned it on.
Not too soon later, Momma got home from work.
As she was sitting in the living room working on some stuff, she started to watch it with me.
I should have introduced her to TLight earlier.
Cause I have never laughed so much in my entire life.

When she started really paying attention was around the baseball scene.
This is one of my favorite scenes of the movie.
So, we're watching and I hear her giggling.
And then Edward starts running. And she started to lose it.
"Woah. He can run fast. Oh and he can throw the ball fast too."
Next Cullen steps up to plate.
"Let's see if he can run fast too. Oh yep."
Now when the bad vamps come into scene, my mother totally lost control of herself.
When Laurent comes up with the baseball and says,
"I believe this belongs to you."
Momma started in.
I have never seen her laugh so hard at a movie in my life.
Especially one where it wasn't made to be funny.

Mom says random things all the time.
It is where I get it from I have determined.
Put that with Twilight, and we have some real winning lines that I will now share with you.

Edward: Rosalie mark the tree.
Mom: What did he say?
Me: He told her to mark the tree. She's wearing Bella's clothes so they can throw him off the track.
Mom: Oh. I thought she was gonna have to pee on it or something.
Me: No Mom. They don't pee.
Mom: They don't pee?! Ever?!

Mom: So how do you kill one of these vampires here?
Me: Rip 'em apart and burn the pieces.
Mom: What?! What if you don't burn them? Is there just moving body parts laying around?
Me: I don't know. I've wondered the same thing.
Mom: What happened to just stabbing them with a wooden stake?

And my personal favorite:
Has anyone tried using garlic on these guys?

Maybe sometime I could introduce her to New Moon.

Harry Potter and the Twilight Saga. (Part 1)

(JK Rowling's next novel...)

Eventually I want to make this HP and the TS series more of a discussion between the two. I feel like they get compared a lot and people from the HP fandom don't like Twilight, and vice versa. But for now, I'll take it easy.

I'm going to start this out by talking about the trivia night I went to this past week. It was Harry Potter and Twilight themed. Just my thing, right? Well, it was. For their trivia nights, you are on a team and answer a series of questions as a team. I went there without a team, just wanting to see how it was. Well, I was standing in the back of the room texting Taylor when this girl came up to me and asked if I wanted to be on her team because her other team members weren't showing up. So I sat down beside her and we began talking when other people she knew came in and sat down with us. We had our team. Team Hogforks. We went around the table saying what year we were in college. All the other girls were freshmen. I'm a senior. Yeah. I'm cool.

So, I was the best member of our team. Not that I'm bragging or anything. But it's true. The first round was all about Harry Potter. The first question: What kind of car does Mr Weasley have? Well, duh. It is obviously the Ford Anglia. Everyone else was so amazed that I knew this answer. I mean, I did happen to see it and all....

The rest of the HP questions were quite hard. Seriously. I don't know Nearly Headless Nick's last name. Or what vault the Sorceror's Stone is in. But, I did know that Dumbledore taught Transfiguration. Everyone else thought DaDA. Please. We managed to get 14/20 questions right.

I'm not even going to talk about Round 2. It was random trivia. And was hard as all get out.

Round 3: Twilight. I'm not going to lie. I was a little upset when I knew more Twilight questions than I did Harry Potter. But we'll get to that at a later time. The Twilight questions were eaaaaaasy. Since I was writing our answers down, a lot of the time I wouldn't even converse with the other members of my group. I would just go ahead and answer. We got a total of 18/20 right here. We didn't know how old Carlisle is (300 and something apparently) and we didn't know what Bella was surprised to see in the Cullen house (A wooden cross. We guessed a kitchen. Makes sense right?)

They went ahead and asked a tie-breaker question in case it was needed. What was the question? Name all of the Horcruxes. I had this in the bag. I can tell you not only what all the Horcruxes are, but who destroyed them and how. It didn't occur to me until I was talking to Erin about it later that I ended up writing them down in the order in which they were destroyed. I am awesome.

In the end, we got technically got 4th. There was a tie for second place, and then us. But, we were only 4 questions behind the 1st place winners, so it was pretty close.

By the way, I am currently still computerless. I checked this computer out from campus. I want mine back. I checked out a computer last weekend as well. And I may or may not have (but definitely did) save a picture of R. Pattinson on the desktop and forgot to delete it before I turned it in. Awesome.

Twi-nerd moment of the week.

Yo, I'm getting ready to do some spoiling right now.
So, if you are one of the 5 people in the world who hasn't read Breaking Dawn and HP and the Deathly Hallows, I'd stop reading now.

The other day in the shower (I have my best/most random thoughts in the shower) I was thinking about Breaking Dawn.
It is best to not ask questions.
Anyways, the main thought I was having was about the name "Renesmee".
It's a weird name, right?
But then again, she's a weird baby, so she deserves a weird name, right?
Anyhoo, I was thinking about Edward's thoughts on this name.
Because I feel that at the time it was brought up as a possibility, he didn't really think the baby and probably Bella would live.
So therefore, he wouldn't have to deal with his child being named "Renesmee".
And why bring up the stupidity of the name with your dying wife?

So, then I started thinking about after Renesmee was born and everyone was all good and living.
I bet you Edward was all crazy then.
Cause now he has to live with the fact that his kid is named Renesmee.
I bet he was all like, "Ahh poops.* Now we have to actually call the kid that now. I thought she was only kidding at first but apparently this is for real."

Also, I think this is what Ginny Weasley-Potter thought as well.
I'm pretty positive she thought Harry was only joking when he suggested Albus Severus for their child's name.
Only to find out a little too late that he wasn't.

*Yeah, Ed Cullen totally says "Ahh poops".

What I do to my friends.

My friend got me into Twilight.

Well, kinda.
When I found out Robert Pattinson, aka Cedric Diggory, was going to be in the movie, I decided it would be a good idea to see it. And read it, I guess.
And she let me borrow her books.
And we go see the movies together and talk about it a lot.
Anyways, I always give her a hard time about how I like Jacob and she doesn't.
So I sent her a little package in the mail the other day.

It all started with this card I found in WalMarks.
That I knew I had to get for her.

(On the inside it says something along the lines of "Treat. Definitely Treat.")


Then, I decided to make a shirt for her.
She is entirely Team Edward.


And finally, I decided to write her a little poem.
It took me all of about 10 minutes to write this while I was in the shower.


I hope she wears that shirt tomorrow.
Whoop whoop.

Whoooooooooot.

Happy New Moon Week.
Get excited.
Bought my tickets last week.
We are watching on Friday at 9:30 in the pm.
Woot woot.

I went to Brookfield theatre website to see what time they were playing the movie.
The "poster" they had online wasn't even the real movie poster.
It was a fan made poster.
Classy. And professional.
But we're not going there.
Cause they didn't even have the movie times up.

I like how Ellen has a countdown to Rob on her show.
When I was watching last week, I kept seeing "__ days til Robert Pattinson!"
I got excited every time I saw it.

AND Kellen Lutz in on on Wednesday.
And D Fanning on today.
It's a Twilight week on Ellen.
Woot woot again.

Funny Story:
I bought the Vanity Fair magazine yesterday.
You know, the one with all the Rob hotness in it.
Yeah, well I was going to just go to WalMarks so I could use the self-checkout that is so handy when you don't want to be judged on what you are buying.
Well, WalMarks didn't have them out yet.
And I had seen that the bookstore here in town did have them out.
So I just decided to get it there.
Well, Erin wanted me to pick her up a copy too.
Cause, you know, we all need our own little bit of Rob hotness.
So not only was I buying one magazine, I was buying TWO magazines.
I chose what line I went through by which cashier looked like they would judge me less.
And I didn't make any eye contact.
Totally worth it though.
Cause that article and pictures were fantastic.

Well, I need to get some studying in before Ellen comes on.
Peace.

Twilight Commentary: Erin and Whitney Style

So my roommate Erin and I watched Twilight a while back.

And by "watched" I mean we had it playing and were only 3/4 paying attention.
Well, we decided that we needed to make our own commentary to the movie, so as we watched I wrote down little snippets of what we said.
Most of them were inappropriate.

Here are the best lines:

She just had an orgasm right there.


Angela: Seriously, don't waist your time..
Us: I'd waste my time...


He's totally gonna barf.


Well, looky there!


And Bella....Bella likes twizzlers.
(if you don't know where this is from, watch this.)


Edward: I'm on a very strict diet.
Us: It's probably marijuana.


B!tch, you better say it!


And I won't post our most inappropriate/controversial/scandalous one.
Erin went a little crazy.
After this part we got bored and kinda stopped.



Because I like you:


Note: We don't think Ed does marijuana...

I got all these lovely pictures from edwardandbella.net.
Check 'em out.

Vampires, Spiders, and Theme Parks Oh My!

Topic 1: Vampires

I don't know what the sudden uproar over vampires is about, but I'm starting to get on board.
I held off as long as I could.
First came Twilight.
Ed: I love you.
Twilight is the only vampire book(s) I have read.
But now I'm hooked on The Vampire Diaries on the tv.
I accidentally watched the premiere last week cause it came on after That 70s Show, and I was too lazy to get up and change the channel.
And now I am fascinated.
Stefan: I love you too. You look like Edward.













<--Edward//Stefan-->


________________________________________________

Topic 2: Spiders
In the words of Ronald Weasley: "I don't like spiders."
Here's the story:
I walked into the bathroom the other day cause I had to pee like no other.
When I walked in, there was a MASSIVE spider on the floor by the toilet.
See:

Well, I screamed a little and ran off.
When I say "a little", I really mean a lot.
I was home by myself, so I just hid away in the living room, hoping someone would come home soon to rid our house of this thing so I could pee.
After about an hour, nobody showed up.
I decided to brave up and slid into the bathroom to do my business.
That was the fastest I have ever peed.
When Erin came home, I built up the courage and tried to kill it with a shoe.
Turns out it didn't die.
It eventually got killed.
And it was revealed to me that this was a Brown Recluse spider.
Which is poisonous.
Erin knew this, but didn't tell me cause she "didn't want to scare" me.
I felt spiders crawling on me all night long.

_________________________________________________

Topic 3: Theme Parks
Ok y'all.
The Wizarding World of Harry Potter is officially opening in the Spring of 2010.
For graduation I'm asking for moneys so I can go during the summer.
Erin and I have already started the planning process.
Some nights at Disneyworld.
And then a whole day at The Islands of Adventure, where Hogwarts will be located.
I will finally get to go to Hogwarts!!!
AHHHHHHHHHH!



I colored this.

Ohhh honey.

Here this past summer, I introduced Taylor to my two favorite things: Harry Potter and Twilight.

Now, he didn’t read either of them, but I did get him to go see the new Harry movie and we are in the process of watching the rest.
And I got him to watch Twilight with me, which even I was shocked I could do.

Well, I’m sitting here kinda watching the VMAs (yeah, Kanye is kinda a douche…) when the New Moon trailer comes up.
Woot.
Pretty much the only reason I’m watchin.
Anyways, Taylor sends me a text, and the following text convo goes down:

him: im watchn a new moon trailer on mtv
me: oh i saw. dont worry. looks exciting huh?!
him: yeah it does. edward did.
(note: I think he’s on Team Ed and doesn’t even know it..:))
me: heck yes. you gonna go watch it with me when it comes out??
him: ya so he does die?
me: you’re just gonna have to wait and see if he dies i guess…..
him: i’ll be there.

Sweet.

I managed to not tell him the fate of Eddie Cullen.
Which is surprising, since I like to give away spoilers like crazy.
I feel like if he was with me, he would have gotten it out of me.

I love youtube.

Kaitlin: "Why is he puking?"
Me: "It's from all the romance."

What da hale?!

So, I was walking through the Wal-Marks the other day, when I saw this:

Are we for real??
I'm used to seeing these two on covers of magazines, but when I saw this one, I had to fight the urge to burst with laughter.
OK Magazine: I think you took it one step too far.

Needless to say, I don't believe a lick of this.
I'm still not even sure if I totally believe they are together yet.
But when I got on the OK website to get this picture, a CRAPLOAD of people had commented, declaring their congrats to the "happy couple".

Good grief.

Picture from okmagazine.com

Funny Story (from a while ago.)

I wrote this a long time ago. And am just now getting to posting it.
I'm such a slacker...


Anyways, for my birthday we went to go see a movie.
My sister and my cousin went to see Year One while my mom, one of my friends, and I went to see The Proposal.

First off: I love Ryan Reynolds.

And now for the actual funny story.
One of the trailers they showed before the movie was New Moon.
My friend and I got really excited.
Now, if you haven't seen it, you should.
Here, I'll make it easy for ya.
Click here.

Well, Mom isn't into the Twilight business.
I'm kinda really ok with that.
But we were sitting there.
Watching the trailer.
And the part where Jacob shows up all shirtless comes up.
And I hear this two seats down from me:
"Woah!"
Who did this come from??
My mother.

Mom, he's young enough to be your son.

Letter

Dear Taylor Lautner,

Hi. Wow, my second letter to you. You should feel special.

Anyways, my sister has a crush on you. The other day, we were walking through the clothing department in Wal-Marks. She found Twilight t-shirts and was pointing at a "Team Jacob" shirt when this conversation went down:

Abby: Look, Whit. Twilight shirts. *points to Team Jacob shirt*
Me: Are you turning Team Jacob on me now?
Abby: Well, he is hotter.

So, there you go. My sister thinks you are hotter than Robert Pattinson.

I mean, you and her are about the same age. She is a little older than you, but only by, like, a year. I would totally be alright with you all getting together.

Sincerely,
Whitney

PS- We may need to educate her on your character. When I tested her and asked what Jacob's last name was, she responded with "Jacob Werewolf-man Hot-pants". (I told her that was, in fact, Jacob's full name..)

And, yes. She has seen the movie. A couple times.

Letters: Celebrity Edition

Dear Jude Law,

Hi. You are a hottie-cakes.

The End.

Sincerely,
Whitney

_______________________

Dear Robert Pattinson,

Hi. You are also a hottie-cakes. But that is for a different time. Right now, I wanna fill you in on a funny little story.

The other day, I was dropping my sister off for her Chicago trip. We were sitting in my car waiting for more people to show up and your song Never Think happened to start playing, cause, you know, I just happened to be listening to that cd. Anyways, I started "singing" along. My sister commented on how other people could probably hear me cause the windows were rolled down. I told her I didn't really care and asked her if we (you and I) should do a duet.

Then that got me thinking. We should do a duet of your songs. I mean, I don't really know all the words, but I think that is the least of our worries. I'll just hum and mumble along like I usually do. Get back to me on this.

Sincerely,
Whitney

_______________________

Dear Andy Samburg,

Hi. We need to be best friends. Fer reals. One of my friends actually agreed that you and I should be best friends.

Sincerely,
Whitney

_______________________

Dear Taylor Lautner,

Hi. When I saw that little trailer for New Moon, I had to remind myself that you are only like 17. And I am not. Because, daaaaaaaaang!! You've been doing some killer workouts haven't you?! Way to be, man.

Sincerely,
Whitney

_______________________

Dear Kristin Stewart,

Hi. Way to drop your award there at those MTV Movie Awards, Butterfingers. That was pretty much the greatest thing ever. I think I like you even more now.

Sincerely,
Whitney

Also, you win my award for best shoes at the MTV Movie Awards. What da hale did Ashley Tisdale have on her feet?? You should prolly give her some advice. (I know some people don't agree with me on this....but I don't care.)

_______________________

Dear Rupert Grint,

Hi. I just didn't want you to think I have forgotten about you. Cause I definitely haven't.

Sweet niblets I am excited to see Half Blood Prince.

Sincerely,
Whitney

Letter

Dear Rob's Butt-holder Dude,

Hi. How exactly did you go about getting this job? Was there some sort of application where the job was described as "rump holder"? Was there an interview/audition process? Because, where was I when this job was looking to be filled??

Here's how I picture it going down:
(In this little situation, you're name is Mark. Because I don't actually know your name and Mark sounded good. The other two names are made up also.)

Director Weitz: "Alright. Stan, you are going to hold the mic in this shot.
Stan: **nods**
Director Weitz: Clive, you are going to hold this light right here.
Clive: **nods**
Director Weitz: And Mark, you are going to be the holder of Rob's buttocks. Just make sure Rob and Kristin don't fall down when Kristin runs into him.
Mark: **fist thrown in air as Stan and Clive look on with jealousy**

Is that what really happened "Mark"? I bet it was.

How many times did you fall over? Did you ever just move out of the way at the last minute so they would fall over?? How about just not actually holding them so they would fall on top of you?? (I would...I'mjustsayin') Did you think about throwing in some goosing action?? Admit it, you did.

The entertainment options are endless for your job!

Forever jealous,
Whitney

What da (Jasper) Hale??

Can we just discuss this here picture??

(I took this pic from edwardandbella.net. They have a crap-ton of pictures. It is fantastic.)

I have so many things to say about this picture.

1) Why are they doing the Pledge of Allegiance?
Apparently the photographer was dangling a flag behind the camera.


2) Why is the British dude joining in on the Pledge?
And someone should have let him in on how we take off our hats for this.


3) I like the look on Kellen's face.
It is like he knows he looks stupid doing this.


4)Why is Cam standing in that manner?
He looks like Napoleon Dynamite.
("This is gonna be the best picture EVER! Gosh!)


5) Jackson, honey, your heart is about 5 inches higher.


6) Taylor, I have nothing to say about you...

C'est finals week.

And I am taking a break.
How'd you like that French action in the heading?? I have that final Friday...


Funny story:
I know how you like my funny stories, so here's a good one.
I was sittin' here on my computer, with my iTunes on shuffle, reading some interesting stuff.
And by "interesting stuff", I mean I was into it earlier, but now have completely forgot what it was.
Anywhosits, I was all focused on my reading, with my face 6 inches from the screen (I may go blind) and suddenly I hear, quite loudly as a matter of fact, this:

"Are you afraid?!"

That's right.
Robert Pattinson/Eddo was screaming these words at me.
And let me tell you, I was a little afraid.
I may have almost peed my pants.
If Kaitlin would have been here, she would have gotten a good laugh.
So, why was this being screamed at me, you ask?
Well, because that's how the Bella's Lullaby Remix starts.
You know, the one I got for free when I ordered our Twilight tickets online.
And iTunes finds it necessary to play it on high volumes when it comes up on shuffle.

Alrighty. I gots to go study for the final I have tonight.
Wish me luck!!

My Super Happening Weekend

This weekend, I...

1)...had curly/wavy hair.
So you all know my hair is pretty much straight. Always. Saturday, though, it decided it would agree with me and go curly for the day. Erin says it is because it is humid; I just think it is because I'm awesome. I'm sorry I didn't document this. Maybe it will happen again.

2)...had a Twilight nerd moment.
Usually my nerd moments relate to Harry Potter. This weekend though I had a Twilight one. This is how it went down: My sister just got back together with her boyfriend. Well, in their time part, she found someone else to go to prom with. You know, just as friends. Well her and her bf were talking about whether or not he would go to prom. I guess his mom told him he should go since it is his senior year and all. These words came out of my mouth: "Prom is an important rite of passage. I wouldn't want you to miss anything."

..........Face. Meet palm........

In case you didn't know, that line was said by this cat here...


3)...went to see 17 Again.
I'll give my little movie review here.
Thumbs up!
Zac Efron. That's all that really needs to be said. After Rupert Grint and Rob, he's right up there on my list of celebrity crushes. He seems to play basketball in every movie he is in. I don't really have a problem with that, especially when he does it without a shirt.
It was a really good movie though.

4)...learned that my grandma has seen Twilight.
She didn't like it though. Not that I really expected her to. I was just shocked that she has actually seen it. I should have asked her if she thought Ed was hot....

5)...discovered that there is an Edward Cullen roaming around my town.
(Ed is mentioned in this post a lot...)
This is actually really creepy. It just makes me feel a little better when I can make light of it and laugh. That's how I deal with things. Anyways, apparently there has been someone in town that looks in people's windows. And here lately, I guess he (or she...I don't know if we really know) has broken into people's houses and just watches them sleep. Like doesn't steal things just pulls an Ed and watches them sleep. Creepy right.
Further evidence Ed is here:
I took a creep-tastic picture when I went to the DG the other day. Apparently Ed shops at Dollar General cause I spotted his silver Volvo there. However, I seriously fail on the "taking pictures of things" front. The evidence of this occurence is on my phone, however the cord to connect the phone to the computer is not with me. Sad time.

6)...found out my future step-sister has met Stephenie Meyer.
Yep. I was jealous. Super jealous. My eventual step-sister lives in Texas and I guess there is a book festival or something like that that she volunteers to work for and she sometimes gets to meet the authors and escort them places. And once she got to escort Stephenie Meyer. She said she was really cool and nice. I'm thinkin someone needs to get me a job working at this festival.

7)...asked my sister if she wanted to go see Little Ashes with me.
Actually, the exact words out of my mouth were something along the lines of: "Do you want to go see Rob's new movie with me?! He's a little gay and apparently gets naked."
Her response?

"No."

Mr. Robert Pattinson

So I don't think it is new news to anyone that I love this man. I think looking at previous posts will show that, and if you actually know me, well then you really know about all this. I liked him when he was Cedric and now I like him as Ed. Well, I was bored and was looking around online and found (1) pictures of fans with Rob, and (2) a video of a chick telling about her encounter with Rob. After I saw this, I realized what I would do if I ever actually ran into him. Not actually "run into" him, you know, but happen to see him walking around.

I decided I wouldn't go talk to him. Yeah, you read that right. I wouldn't go talk to him. There are a couple reasons for this.

First off, I'm not the type of person that just walks up to people I don't really know and talk to them. I think that is awkward. I mean, what exactly do you say to someone like that without coming off as a complete creeper?! I know if I was in his place, I would think all those people were crazies.

Second off, I kinda feel sorry for the dude. I feel like he should be able to walk around or eat his foods or hang out in peace. Without crazy people coming up to him and asking him for a picture or autograph or saying how much they are in love with him. I enjoy my peaceful meals, so I'd let him enjoy his.

On another similar note, if it is possible to bond with someone without ever meeting the person, well then that happened with me and Rob the other day. I saw somewhere where he doesn't like to watch his own movies. It totally freaks him out apparently to have his movies out there for people to see. At first I was like "Dude, then why did you go into this business?!?" But then I realized I do the same exact thing with my art. It really freaks me out to have other people look at anything I make. I always feel like they are judging it and think it is horrible and all this other bad stuff. But I still do it because I like making art, so I guess maybe that's why Rob does movies still. So there we go, a little similarity between me and Roberto.

So, Mr. Pattinson, if I ever get to see you walking around town or eating foods, I won't come up and talk to you. That, however, doesn't stop you from coming up and talking to me. Cause I'm a fun person. And by the looks of things....

so are you.

ps- I don't know where this picture is from or what is in his hair, but I like it.